Susan
Georgia
When I was 15, I went to to talk with my associate pastor. He smiled, kissed me on my forehead, and told me I was so pretty and sexy. Prior to that, on a retreat, I was riding with him in a van (with my best friend) and he was trying to guess my bra size.
He groomed me from then on, until I turned 16, then convinced me to have sex with him. This went on for 1 year. He also had the nerve to ask if a couple of other girls in the church (calling them by name) would join in. He told me that if I got pregnant, that I better start dating someone; but treated me like we were “dating”. This all happened in the church. He didn’t use protection. He just taught me how to count my period days and ovulation days.
I went on for 20 years thinking it was all my fault (also having many other relationships with adult married men). When I had my girls, I became depressed and had “flash backs”, which I thought were from Satan (that’s what I was taught anyway – if it’s not pure and Godly, it’s from Satan). Long story short, I ended up in therapy for 9 years. I did confront him in year 3 of my therapy. He didn’t offer restitution. He apologized and admitted wrong doing, but only because I confronted him.
The head pastor did find out about the abuse, and all he did was tell him to look for another job and to get counseling. The head pastor told me to never discuss it again, and move on with my life. We needed to think about his marriage.
As an adult, They told me that they would put it in a file - but it will only be seen if someone asks for it. So really - nothing will ever be done.
His wife wanted to meet with me - and when we did, she defended him up one side and down the other, and she talked about how much God had blessed them. The one thing that sticks out the most is that she said that they had to teach their children how to treat other people, and I said that I had to teach my daughters not to trust anyone - not even their minister!
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"The head pastor told me to never discuss it again."